Life isn't unfair. By Terry A Gordon DO, FACC

Life isn't unfair, life is always fair.

Now, I can imagine the tremendous leap of faith embracing such a premise might require. We have all posed the question: “Why me? Why do bad things keep happening to me? How can a good God allow such injustices to occur?”

Crap happens. None of us is immune to the seemingly negative occurrences life can present. At some point, we will all experience pain and turmoil, but we must remain mindful that life's events become tragedies only if we make the conscious decision to frame them as being calamitous. We might just as easily choose to view them as being in perfect order, offering up to us at just the right time, opportunities for personal growth. These so-called catastrophes can actually become the driving force of change.

The storms we encounter, while they have the potential of creating incapacitating turbulence in our minds, don't have to. Fortunately, life is balanced, not only with those things that cause us to suffer, but it is beautifully coupled with those things that bring us pleasure as well. Thus we are not overly burdened with the negative aspects of such experiences. 

The question becomes: is there really such a thing as a negative experience? I don’t think so. Such a so-called negative encounter can actually be a blessing in disguise, providing fodder for growth, becoming a catalyst for change. If we can learn just one small thing from such a negative ordeal, the encounter loses its negativity and becomes a positive experience. The tragedy arises from experiencing something of this nature and not learning from the encounter.

The gift of each of these apparently negative events is a tool from the Divine that can help nurture our spiritual evolution and progress. The more daunting the obstacle, the greater potential there is for personal growth. From the Kabbalah, an ancient mystical text of Judaism, it is written: "It’s the falls of our life that provide the energy to propel us to a much higher level."

No storm that lasts forever. And despite the darkness of the most foreboding storm clouds, somewhere the sun is shining. The challenge becomes adjusting our perception of events enough to recognize the presence of higher powers within the experience.

In doing so, we must look beyond what the mind wants to judge as good or bad. Rather than lamenting so-called adversities and becoming victimized by them, it is far better to choose instead to be grateful for them, embracing them as gifts, knowing that within them lie important nuggets of knowledge that can promote our spiritual development.

The difficulties we face can be a source of strength, enabling us to rise above perceived adversity. Accepting that premise, I have come to the realization that I deserve the heartache. I am worthy of the difficult lessons I have been given. The question for me has become not “Why me?” but “Why not me?” It's all in changing the thought, changing our perspective—changing our outlook. The choice is simple, become the victim, licking our wounds while resisting. This will result in perpetual turmoil, pain and immense suffering. It is far better to transcend above the quagmire, choosing instead to accept the magnanimous gift and grow from it.

The key is to exalt in the falls of our lives. Embrace them. For they offer us the milieu to transform, giving us the springboard to rise above the turmoil, disappointment and suffering, transcending to the place where understanding, enlightenment and complete healing occur.